Divorce: Will It Make Things Better?

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This morning I was looking through some articles I’ve saved from the New York Times and Chicago Tribune. One from the Tribune on November 8, 2009 caught my eye. It’s titled Divorce: Five Things to Consider before Filing.

There are, of course, times when divorce may be necessary especially when psychological, physical, or sexual abuse is involved. However, this article based on the book, Divorce in Missouri: The Ultimate Guide to Show-Me State Divorce, by Alisse Camazine and Alan Freed and published by Acorn House, cites some of the issues, maybe the pitfalls, that can be associated with divorce. (I have to admit I haven’t read the book but I was intrigued by the five things.)

The authors present the following five issues that they believe should be considered before going for a divorce. I’ve added my own comments after each issue.

1) Be realistic – very difficult to do when emotions run high but really,really important.
2) Find out what your true expenses are - an issue most of us probably
don’t know for sure until we really delve into it.
3) Don’t put the kids in the middle – this is the most important issue of
all. When divorce occurs it is a major trauma for kids. Parents can
help by keeping kids safe, loved, and out of the conflict.
4) Don’t get emotionally attached to an asset – the reality of divorce is everyone involved loses things that are important to them, material goods and, more importantly, relationships.
5) Don’t expect that life will be the same – some people equate this with life being better, freer, and/or calmer after divorce, others equate this with sadness, lose, and/or hardship. No matter what the expectation, the reality is that life is forever changed for all involved during and after a divorce, maybe for the better and maybe not.

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